What’s new!

Well, let’s see…..

My last post was about depression and how it has affected my life.  It has gotten so much better and am learning to be the ME I was years ago. Less depression, still social anxiety but that’s getting better too.  I don’t go out as much as I’d like too but my partner has been a great support and the best thing EVA!  It’s so important to have a great support system when dealing with depression.  I have found many others that suffer from it and we are able to talk together about what helps us  and just be there for one another.

After that post, I received many great emails of support and some opening up that they suffer from depression too.  It’s amazing how many others suffer from it and just keep it bottled up.  I also got emails and comments from those that have nothing else to do but talk crap about people.  I am ok with that.  Because the comments I got from those people were anonymous (surprise, surprise!).

If you don’t have anything else to do with your time and you’re gonna leave a hateful email or comment, be women or man enough to actually leave a real email address and name.  Don’t hide behind a fake email.  Lame.

Umm, what else.  I have been traveling a lot.  Mostly because I have never done so and I love learning about how others live in other areas.  In April, I’ll be going to Canada and Tucson, AZ.  Looking forward to both, but mostly the Canada trip.  I’ll be heading back to San Francisco in March because I can NEVER get enough of that place.

I am on the PTA at my son’s school and volunteer in his class once a week.  I love it!  Those kindergartners could teach all of us a thing or two.  They are so bright and full of energy and life.  We (the family) are planning a trip later this year.  Not sure where we are going yet.  🙂

Enjoy your day!  And remember—–>

There will ALWAYS be those that are negative.  Look for the positive and be happy!



It is time…

…to come clean.  I have had some many friends, as of late, confide in me their problems with depression and how it affects their life.  How they fight day in and day out to get out of bed and just make it through the day.  Many simply cannot survive without their medications and sometimes it’s self medicated way that do the best.  I know all to well about depression and how it affects a person.  I have been suffering from depression since I was in high school.  Not many know this, as I hide it well (kind-of…) and I don’t talk about it.  Now…I am talking about it.

San Francisco/Oakland trip-HOORAY!

I am in the Bay and loving it!  I love performing here.  The diversity.  The passion.  The variety of acts and performance.  It’s great and heart warming.  I am appearing at the following locations-

  • Little Minsky’s, Club Deluxe-1511 Haight St. (SF).  Show @ 10p
  • Red Hots Burlesque, El Rio-3158 Mission St. (SF).  Show @ 7:30p
  • Debauchery, White Horse Inn-6551 Telegraph Ave. (OAK).  Show @ 9p
  • Bombshell Betty’s, Uptown Club-1928 Telegraph Ave. (OAK).  Show @ 9p

Come out and say hello!


Depression-More common than you think

I am sad this morning.  A dear friend of mine just called and I spoke with her for hours about depression and reasons why she SHOULD NOT kill herself.  She is a bright and loving person.   She has a great family that loves her and children who adore her.  She is a very successful business women and travels all over.  But yet and still she is depressed.  She hates her life.  And she can’t manage to find anyone to listen or who cares about her issues.

1 in 17 people in the US suffer from depression.

It is estimated that 850,000 people are hospitalized for suicide attempts in the US.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death of those 15-24.

Women are more likely to ATTEMPT suicide than men (do to the manner is which women go about it)

Men are more likely to COMMIT suicide than women ( Men are more likely to use a weapon)

I work with many who suffer from depression and can’t function without their medication.  I have seen first hand how a person can change dramatically with depression.  A person who is normally organized, full of life, energetic, and playful can become someone who stays in the house, pulls away from things they once loved, and becomes anti-social.  Without help, they continue to fall.

It’s really important to notice the signs.  Many times those suffering from depression will reach out, but in very subtle ways.  It’s hard to reach out when you feel no one cares about you.  But if someone does reach out, be ready to be a friend-even if you don’t know them that well.  You may save their life.  Offer to meet for tea or lunch.  But don’t take on all their problems.  Guide them to the right help.  Sometimes all it takes is for that one person to have that needed compassion to pull them out.

Warning signs of suicide include:

  • Observable signs of serious depression:
    Unrelenting low mood
    Anxiety, psychic pain and inner tension
    Sleep problems
  • Increased alcohol and/or other drug use
  • Recent impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks
  • Threatening suicide or expressing a strong wish to die
  • Making a plan:
    Giving away prized possessions
    Sudden or impulsive purchase of a firearm
    Obtaining other means of killing oneself such as poisons or medications
  • Unexpected rage or anger

Although most depressed people are not suicidal, most suicidal people are depressed.

Offer to give them resources for help.  You don’t have to be their rock, but turning your back on them could be the worse thing you could do.  Even simple emails/texts/calls saying, “Just thinking about you, hope all is ok.”, can make that person feel like there is someone who cares.

That’s what it comes down to.  Feelings of hopelessness and uselessness.  Feeling like there is no one in the world that would miss them if they were gone.  Feeling like they are a bother to all and just feels it would be better if they went away.  That simple contact can make them feel like there is someone who cares.  Inviting them over for a social gathering can be good to.

SECOND VLOG! Hooray for webcams!!!

Juat a little bit about my world at this time!  Enjoy!

Rediscovering how humans should be to one another and ourselves

I found my book, ‘The Four Agreements’ the other day and started reading it again.  I have never been to much of a reader, but there are a few books that I enjoying reading and re-reading.  The Four Agreements is one of them.  If you have never read this book, I suggest you find the time to do so.  It really puts things into simple and easy ways to live.  Basically, EVERYTHING we do is based on agreements that we have made.  Whether to ourselves or to others.

Be impeccible with your word.

Understand that you must be a person of your own word and follow through with what you have spoken.  Avoid using your word to speak ill of others.  We all fall victim to this, I am no exception.  But I realize this and work on it everyday.

Don’t Take Anything Personally.

This is a hard one for me.  I am a person who internalizes.  Because of this, it is an effort for me not to take things personally.  I must realize that nothing anyone does is because of you.  They make their own decisions based on their own reality.

Don’t Make Assumptions.

This is very important.  Finding the way to ask questions and expressing what you really want can be hard for some.  But getting a straight forward answer versus living in your insecurities or what others view is always better.  I have been working on this as well.  Sometimes the questions are hard and difficult to ask, but asking will save a lot of headache.

Always Do Your Best.

Do your best for YOU.  Others may judge, but as long as you know you have done your best and put your best foot forward you will avoid self-judgement and regret.

I wish these four things were taught to me growing up.  It would have saved alot of trouble!  I have always been a person who speaks their mind.  Some do not like that because I speak my mind on topics that may stir emotions.  I have always been conscience of others feelings and if I have oversteped my boundries, I ALWAYS apologize and make amends.

We as humans are fragile creatures.  We let others decide how we are going to feel, what we are going to look like, and how we are going to dress.  We are to concerned with societies views of how we should be.  When really if everyone took that energy and fed it into something positive, I truly think suicide rates would drop, self esteem would rise, and the mental professions would be looking for work.  Just my opinion though.